Spini Watts Counselling & Psychotherapy

Heal What You Feel!

Opening Hours and Contact

Booking

Please select a time and date that best suits you. After booking your initial session, I will email you some documents that needs completing before we meet. This session will give us both a sense of whether we are a good fit, if you decide you want to proceed with me, we will book the upcoming sessions after the 1st session. 

  • During our first session, we will explore why you are looking for therapy; what you want to achieve from the therapy, and agree on how we will work together.
  • The 1st session is considered an initial assessment. This will be the time for you and I to get to know each other. If you have any worries regarding therapy, please feel free to ask me any questions you might have. Sessions usually include exploring what you are hoping to achieve by the time you finish our sessions, and exploring a plan we can work towards for you to achieve your desired outcome.

Spini Watts (MBACP)

Welcome to my site! I know how hard this might be trying to find the right person for you. I undertake personal therapy as part of my ongoing development and therefore I understand what it is like to be a client. I am a qualified Integrative Psychotherapist/Counsellor, a registered member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) and practice within their  Ethical Framework.

About Me!

As an Integrative Psychotherapist/Counsellor I draw from a range of theoretical approaches, including, Person-centred, Psychodynamic, Transactional Analysis, and I also use some aspects of CBT to individually tailor how we work effectively together for your specific personal needs. My core modality is person centred which puts you at the centre of your journey. This way, the whole of my attention is on you as a person and what your needs may be at that moment.

 

I am a firm believer that “the relationship is the therapy”, which is part of the way I work which enables me to establish and maintain successful and effective working alliances. As part of the therapeutic process, I consider a good working relationship vital in our work together, for a successful outcome to be achieved. It is my aim to provide a safe space where I can listen to you in a non- judgemental, trusting and understanding environment. I work collaboratively with clients rather than acting as an expert as I believe each person knows themselves best.

What Happens In the 1st Session

  • During our first session, we will explore why you are looking for therapy; what you want to achieve from the therapy, and agree on how we will work together.
  • The 1st session is considered an initial assessment. This will be the time for you and I to get to know each other.
  • Sessions usually include exploring what you are hoping to achieve by the time you finish our sessions, and exploring a plan we can work towards for you to achieve your desired outcome.
  • Therapy is a very personal process and sometimes it is necessary to talk about painful feelings or difficult decisions, so you may go through a period of feeling worse than when you started before feeling better, but, that will also depend on your situation and circumstances.

BACP has produced some helpful information sheets which give a fuller explanation of what might be expected during therapy and these may be
found on the website at: bacp-what-happens-in-your-first-session-kf3.pdf

How We Will Work Together

We will work together by engaging in the here-and-now therapeutic relationship between us as an opportunity to understand how you relate to yourself and others in your life, and we can explore how your past might be affecting your present life. I will never push you to talk about anything you are not ready to explore, there will be times when I will challenge you gently to explore how your thoughts affect your emotions and experiences. I use a range of different theoretical approaches to individually tailor how we work effectively together for your specific personal needs. This way, the whole of my attention is on you as a person and what your needs may be at that moment. My core modality is person centred which puts you at the centre of your journey. It’s important for both of us that I understand your full experience and what is important to you to help accomplish the changes you want to make. Some of the areas we discuss will have to do with your identity and cultural influences in your life. 

How To Get The Most Out Of Therapy

You’ll get the best results from your therapy if you’re open and honest with your therapist and say how you’re really feeling.

Your relationship with your therapist is very important. If you’re to work effectively together, you should feel safe and able to take risks by disclosing and discussing sensitive issues. That includes being able to give them honest feedback on how you feel about your therapy and how you’re working together.

There are many different types of therapist and therapy, so if you’re unsure about your therapist or their approach, you can look for another one.

If you feel uncomfortable, unsure or confused about anything in your therapy and you don’t feel able to talk to your therapist, see the link below from BACP
What happens when therapy goes wrong? (pdf 0.1MB)

The Role Of Culture In Mental Health

When it comes to mental health, the culture of the society that surrounds us influences our attitudes about seeking help, the type of support we need, and whether or not we decide to seek help at all. Every culture has a different way of looking at mental health and, for many, there is a stigma. Some cultures see mental health challenges as a sign of weakness; others do not view it as a healthcare problem or believe it is within each person’s control. These inaccurate views can make it harder for those struggling to talk about a mental health issue openly and will negatively affect their decision to seek help. Understanding the harmful impact of this cultural stigma is essential to providing mental health services to members of racial and ethnic minorities, as well as to members of the majority culture. When looking for mental health treatment, most people feel more comfortable talking to someone who can relate to their experiences and situation. For some minorities, it can be challenging to find resources that address their particular cultural factors and needs. It’s essential to recognize that cultural context significantly influences our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. I welcome explorations regarding culture in the therapy space. There are no judgements, but absolute understanding. Sometimes loss and grief can influence how we grieve and deal with loss, we have to also take that into consideration.

Services Offered

Online  Sessions

£50 per 50mins session

 

Walk & Talk  Sessions 

£50 per 1hr session

Mondays only

Telephone  Sessions

£50 per 50mins session

 

Face-to-face Sessions

£70 per 50mins session

Tuesdays & Wednesdays Only

Coming Soon!

What I can help with

Relationship Issues for Individuals & Family Conflict

The relationships we have throughout our lives deeply inform personality, behaviour, and emotions. Without secure and healthy relationships, individuals are more likely to experience anxiety and depression, and other mental illnesses as well as to feel lonely. The attachment pattern we form in our childhood tends to shape the emotional and behavioural reactions we have with others throughout our lives.

In order to change negative patterns of attachment, it is necessary to understand and feel the full pain of our story. I can help you work through past and current relationships in order to better understand how they affect you. Together, we can develop goals for forming healthier relationships in the future. The way individuals interact with one another can significantly impact on an individual’s mental health. Exploring dynamics, roles, and patterns within the relationships can help to uncover underlying issues that contribute to mental health challenges.

Family or relationships conflict is normal. What truly matters is how we navigate those moments, repair connections, and learn from them. Things that happened in the past can have a lasting effect on family and other forms of relationships. Unresolved issues can often crop up. Despite your best efforts and intentions, sometimes you'll find that you simply can't get along with an individual. Perhaps someone continues to hold a grudge against you or refuses to change their behaviour.

Individual therapy offers you a safe and confidential space to process your emotions, gain insights into your role in the conflict, and develop coping strategies. It can help you set healthy boundaries, improve communication, and build resilience amidst the challenges. Individuals can gain insights into their own roles and contributions to family conflicts. Therapy provides an opportunity to explore feelings of anger, hurt, frustration, or sadness without the presence of other family members.

We can explore and work on how you relate to yourself and others in your life, the beliefs you have about yourself, how you believe other people perceive you, your abilities, the positive and negative things about you, how you interpret the past, and what you anticipate for your future.

Bereavement counselling

Grief is a natural response to loss, and each individual’s experience is deeply personal and unique. In grief and bereavement therapy, my approach centers around creating a safe and compassionate space for clients to process their emotions, explore their thoughts, and find meaning in their loss. Whether you are struggling with denial, anger, guilt, or feelings of emptiness, my therapy sessions are designed to help you process your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and find a renewed sense of purpose and meaning in life. During counselling, you can talk to about the person who has died, about how their death is affecting you and how you are coping. 

Bereavement or situations of loss can lead to feelings of helplessness, anxiety and depressed or you may experience suicidal feelings . Feelings of loneliness where you might feel unseen, unheard, unvalued and uncared for. Having gone through losses myself, I understand the pain and confusion that comes with grief. My journey might be different from yours but this has helped me realise the kind of environment that is needed for people to feel truly heard, seen and be compassionately curious about who they really are. 

There are no coping strategies that can take the pain away, but, we can work together to take steps to sooth your pain, find meaning through your loss and make your grieving process easier to move through moving forward with grief . No one can understand your grief but yourself.

Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief is a feeling of loss before someone dies. You might feel it if your friend or relative has dementia, cancer, or another illness which you know will lead to their death. When you are caring for someone who is dying, you may feel very anxious. You may find you feel very angry with the situation, or even with your friend or relative for leaving you, you may feel lonely, or that others don’t understand what you are going through. Caring can limit your chances to out and socialise. Sometimes people find they spend time picturing what it will be like after their friend or relative dies, and thinking about how it will happen.

Grief & Loss

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering we feel when something or someone we love is taken away from us. Any loss can cause grief. Whatever your loss, it's personal to you, and we experience grief in our own unique ways. There is no wrong or right way to grieve and unfortunately there is no quick fix.

Grief is one of the hardest parts of the human experience. It looks and feels different for everyone, and it’s hard to know how to cope when there’s no one right way. You may not always feel like you know how to grieve, but your body does. When someone dies you might experience many losses.

Part of grieving is about recognizing what you have lost, and loss comes with many changes that are not always immediately visible. Grief is often described as the process of healing from the wound. If the conditions are right then wounds will heal naturally in time. Sometimes, though, it is too painful to acknowledge or tend to a wound, and so time does not always heal in the way we would hope. If a wound is left unattended then it can become infected, and the pain of grief worsens. An infected wound needs to be cared for in order for it to heal.

Talking about what happened, and how you feel is a way of tending to your grief and helping it to heal. It does not make the injury go away. A serious injury leaves a scar. However, as time and life goes on, it becomes a part of you, and no longer hurts in the same way. No length of time can erase our loved ones from our hearts, Instead as times goes on, you learn to grow around your grief. 

 

Tips for Coping with Grief

  1. Do not grieve alone It’s vital that you stay connected with others during this time. Share your grief with others who can relate. Work through your difficult emotions in a safe setting.
  2. Take good care of yourself It can be easy to forget about our own needs when grieving. Eat, sleep, and exercise to avoid adding physical fatigue to your emotional fatigue. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. let your friends and family know you’ll need extra support
  3. Seek professional grief counselling Not everyone will need the services of a counsellor or therapist during their grieving period, but it can be very helpful for those who are really struggling. A qualified professional can help you understand the grief process and give you the tools you need to cope with your emotions.

Counselling For Anxiety

Anxiety is a common human experience, our body’s natural response to stress. Anxiety is often described as a feeling of fear or unease and it’s something everyone experiences at times. A certain level of anxiety is normal. It helps us to avoid dangerous situations and makes us alert and motivated to deal with problems. Because anxiety is a normal human experience, it’s sometimes hard to know when it’s becoming a problem for you – but if your feelings of anxiety are very strong, or last for a long time, they can be overwhelming.

When you are feeling worried all of the time, are worried about worrying, find it hard to sleep or eat well because of worry, or have panic attacks it is likely that therapy can help you address the underlying reasons for your anxiety and guide you to feel more secure and less anxious. To effectively manage anxiety, it's essential to understand why it occurs in the first place. It can have multiple causes, and pinpointing them can be the first step toward finding relief.

Our past experiences can put fear on us with messages that what happened before might happen again, so your fear is that the same thing will happen again leading you to feel really anxious. In reality although this has happened before the present situation might be different situation and different time in your life. The likelihood of this happening again in the exact same way is very low.  The more we run away from anxiety, the worse it gets. In order to live our lives more freely we have to face our fear.

We cannot control our thoughts coming into our minds, but we can control how we choose to respond to them, looking at 'why' the same anxious thoughts are reoccurring and dominating your life. 

Counselling For Depression

Depression is a common mental disorder. It involves a depressed mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time. Depression is different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life. It can affect all aspects of life, including relationships with family, friends and community.

 

You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living. More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychotherapy or both.

 

Psychotherapy can help people with depression to:

  • Pinpoint life events that contribute to their depression and help them find ways to change, accept or adapt to those situations
  • Set realistic goals for the future
  • Identify distorted thought processes or unhelpful behaviours that contribute to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
  • Develop skills to cope with symptoms and problems, and identify or prevent future episodes of depression

Small 't' Traumas

Little “t” traumas are highly distressing events that affect individuals on a personal level. little “t” trauma include non-life-threatening injuries, emotional abuse, death of a pet, bullying or harassment, and loss of significant relationships. What is highly distressing to one person may not cause the same emotional response in someone else. It’s the kind of trauma that gets imprinted within us, particularly when we don’t have a healthy support system to help us be with our emotions and process our experiences.

It’s common for children who have experienced prolonged emotional distress, including emotional neglect, to have distorted worldviews and beliefs about themselves. They would most likely go on to develop unhelpful coping strategies. It can cause us to be more prone to negative emotions like anxiety, guilt, shame, anger or disconnection. These events can be extremely upsetting and cause significant emotional damage, particularly if an individual experiences more than one event or if these traumas occur during important periods of brain development like early childhood and adolescence.

Traumatic events that occur in early childhood are often referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). These experiences can be particularly harmful, because they occur at such a vulnerable phase of growth. In early childhood, brain development and social-emotional growth are at a critical stage. Hence, the effects of trauma on children can carry over into adolescence and young adulthood.